Rant of the Day: Stupid Drivers and Baby on Board signs

Driving home today, an oldish guy in a big SUV was swerving around on the road. “He makes good use of his lane“, as my passenger remarked. At the speeds we were driving any bumps he could’ve given me would have been very limited. Especially because we were going in the same direction anyway. Nobody would be hurt, it would purely be a matter of time, hassle and annoyance: Insurance companies, repairs, police, witnesses… and an alcohol test for him.

Also spotted another one of those stupid “Baby on Board” signs in the back window of a car…

Baby on board - literal version. Click for complete picture.People with expensive cars are showing off their wealth and/or willingness to live beyond their means. People with bumper stickers about their honor roll kids are bragging about somebody else’s good performance, and they probably feel that some of that good performance reflects on them, they probably even feel they have some of the credit for that good performance.

But “Baby on board” just says that the drivers — through a very simple process — have produced a small lump of flesh and bones that has yet to produce or perform any useful function.

Baby on board - literal version 2. Click for complete picture.

I choose to keep extra distance to cars with these yellow signs. Not because there’s a baby in the car, but because there’s a parent in the car. Like I said, I don’t want to go through the time, hassle and annoyance of insurance, repairs, police, witnesses, etc. As I read it, “Baby on Board” really means “Cranky, distracted, sleep deprived driver behind the wheel”.

Update (April 2014): Found a new instance of the physical baby on board. More primitive, less artsy, but portable.

17 Comments to “Rant of the Day: Stupid Drivers and Baby on Board signs”

  1. Alex Harford 5 October 2005 at 9:01 #

    It’s like Marge Simpson says:

    ‘A Baby On Board sign, now people will stop intentionally ramming our car!’

  2. Anonymous 24 April 2009 at 9:01 #


  3. Jana 17 September 2009 at 12:54 #

    these signs ARE stupid. What purpose do they serve? If I’m about to crash into a car, I’m so sure I’m going to look in the back window of a car first, to make sure there are no children riding in it. It isnt like we sit in our swerving cars in mid-collision and go “Hmmm, the red SUV? the Blue station wago, or maybe the black sub compact? Which…one…do…I…hit….OH! The SUV has a baby…OK, Ill crash into the one of the other two, then….” And yes, I DO have children.

  4. Rob 4 July 2010 at 6:36 #

    God, what a retarded sign! What kind of stupid idiot would place one of these in their vehicle? We need to pay more attention to REAL road signs instead of these pieces of crap distractions! Baby on Board? Personally, I don’t give a shit!

  5. Chato from Mental health Humor 31 July 2010 at 11:39 #

    You need to updated this post… No more babys on board, now it should be “brats on board, and won;t stop crying so I can text.”
    Chato from Mental health Humor´s last blog post ..BIPOLAR MANIA- Come Ride With Me!

  6. idiots on board 25 August 2010 at 23:27 #

    I have a baby girl and just bought one of these signs. I know from my own experience driving that I back off from cars that I think have babies in them. It also explains why they might be going slower than I would like them to.

    So the signs do work but maybe you bitter, mean-spirited people have some other issues to deal with. These signs aren’t supposed to make you angry so what’s your problem?

    You have to stop hating so much.

    • Anonymous 1 September 2017 at 14:05 #

      So basically you’re saying you’re part of the problem.

  7. Joan@Port Royal homes 26 August 2010 at 8:42 #

    I agree, will with part of people using the signs as a way to tell other drives to be aware of a child in a car. But, it’s not going to save a child unless you have them buckled up right and drive with caution!

  8. idiots on board 26 August 2010 at 10:53 #

    It’s obvious that Jan, the guy who runs this blog doesn’t have a child. If he did he wouldn’t dream of putting that offensive photo of a bloodied baby on his site.

    Jan, it’s a disgusting photo and it’s not funny at all.

    If your wife is ever pregnant I’m sure she will really appreciate how funny you think you are.

    • Jan 26 August 2010 at 19:25 #

      Hey idiot (on board or otherwise)

      It’s a doll. It’s an artistic statement by some person. It is funny.

      I’m very lucky: My wife already appreciates my humor.

  9. Joan@Port Royal homes 26 August 2010 at 12:47 #

    Oh MY, I did not see that photo!!!

  10. idiots on board 26 August 2010 at 23:50 #

    it’s not funny jan and it’s not art.

    maybe someone should make a doll that looks like you and chop the head off and stick knives in it then cover it in fake blood.

    then wrap it up and give it to your wife for her birthday. ha ha ha so funny. yes it’s a work of art. a masterpiece made by a genius.

    • Morten Lynge 28 August 2010 at 0:11 #

      You’re completely missing the point of that picture, as well as the humour behind it….

      The point is that those signs have ABSOLUTELY no effect! To think that any driver will avoid being involved in an accident just because they have a sign like that is stupid.
      Thus, the signs are completely useless and are, as Jan rightfully says, merely used for bragging about something that’s really not worth bragging about!

      That picture IS art because it manages to state all that through very simple means, and furthermore it does it in a way that provokes emotion and thought. That is the very essence of art!

  11. lol @ idiots on board 28 August 2010 at 7:03 #

    Stop being such an over-sensitive scrub, scrub.

    Everyone is entitled to their opinion and guess what, you expressed your opinion and that’s that.

    Stfu and focus your anger on your real life issues at hand instead of one person’s opinion that just so happens to differ than yours.

  12. Anonymous 13 September 2010 at 23:28 #

    The “baby on board” sign is there to warn emergency services that there is an infant on board.

    • Jan 14 September 2010 at 9:30 #

      @Anonymous Well, that’s the popular story, anyway. Snopes.com disproves the myth that that’s how the North American version of the signs got started.

      And think about it, those “baby on board” signs don’t follow the baby around, rather they’re stuck in the car 24 hours a day for years, regardless of whether there’s a kid in the car or not. If the car has an accident when there are no kids in the car, how long should rescue workers stay with the car looking for that baby? In other words, I’m sure rescue workers have a routine that covers looking for infants, and it’s probably triggered by the presence of a baby seat (which themselves are very big these days), not by a small sign on the back window.

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